Yes, it’s true…

I am pregnant that is… I am sorry that I haven’t been around to write my blog lately but I guess I’ve been busy 😉 puking and feeling tired etc.. and all that fun stuff that comes along with it… So, you might be asking yourself, if I am still taking my medication now that I am pregnant? The answer is no, I am off my meds. Scary, right?… No, not so scary…let me explain, although for the record, I don’t think I owe anyone any explanations.

But after sharing my joyful news in the grocery store with someone yesterday, I got the question nearly immediately afterwards “so, I am off my medication, right?” and the strange pause after I told them, that “yes, indeed I am off my meds” made me feel like I had to explain that the doctor was going to take me off the meds in December anyway, so it’s just 6 months earlier. Had I been thinking on my feet I would’ve given a sarcastic answer like ” oh, and am I doing anything strange, now that I am off meds? ” but then they might’ve thought that I was being impolite and might think that that was my “bi-polar-ness” talking.  Oh yes, the sarcastic bitch is back…. but no, I am not having bipolar mood swings… my true personality is shining true and I’m cranky due to pregnancy hormones which is quite normal.

Why isn’t it scary that I am off meds? Pregnancy hormones tend to protect one from going off the deep end, that is psychosis. I have done my research because I knew that one day I wanted a child and together with my care team, it was discussed. I choose Abilify because out of all the medications available, this one seemed to be the better out of the lot with pregnancy outcomes, even though it is pregnancy category risk C which means risks are unknown or cannot be ruled out because there are insufficient studies done.Initially, I  asked to be placed on Latuda because that medication is pregnancy category risk B which means that there are no known risks however, I was told that there was insufficient evidence for this medication meaning that it had not been on the market long enough for my doctor to feel comfortable with putting me on it.

So with the doctor’s permission, I am off my medication. Obviously, I had to be at the lowest dose of medication before we even tried to get pregnant so that I could come off the medication easily. The worst risks of using anti-psychotics are in the 1st trimester which I am nearly done with thankfully because I am nearly 1/3 of the way there. There are also risks in the 3rd trimester,  because there have been cases where babies have withdrawal  effects from anti-psychotics after being born. Usually, doctors tend to stick with the first generation of anti-psychotics, like Haldol, when it comes to pregnancies because of the known outcomes while the newer anti-psychotics, known as atypical anti-psychotics are usually avoided, though there are some studies out there on there usage during pregnancy. Abilify is an atypical anti-psychotic but from my research, I would prefer to use this anti-psychotic if anything were to happen because of the outcomes so far.

What I am scared of? Well, for starters, I have the fears of any new mommy-to-be like, will our child be healthy, going into labour and giving birth and the sleepless nights to come. On top of that, I am scared of the Zika virus. Unfortunately, there have been two cases confirmed on our Island. Even though, we’ve already seen the heart beat and so far everything is good, I can’t wait until our next appointment to make sure everything is still going good.

What it’s like being off medication? Well, I’ll tell you this… I thought I was tired on medication but pregnancy tiredness trumps medication tiredness. Most days, I feel like a freight train has ran over me so I am not much help around the house but thankfully I have a wonderful husband who picks up the slack. I am told that this tiredness usually goes away during the 2nd trimester but comes back during the 3rd trimester. Other than my tiredness getting worse, I haven’t noticed much difference being off of medication. A family member did tell me that they thought I was speaking better off of the medication.

Before, I bore you with all this pregnancy and medication talk, I will finish on another note. I finally finished my Associate of Science in Business degree and my husband and I are hoping to attend the graduation ceremony in Orange Beach, Alabama at the end of October. My husband also bought a restaurant together with his buddy. I am very excited for him but at the same time I am scared because it is a big change in our lives and not a steady form of income. At least one of us still has a steady job …

I’ll try to keep you updated on how my pregnancy progresses and on my pregnancy crankiness ;-).

Peace, Angelita